UNTITLED
No longer shall my heart be open.
No longer shall I show feeling.
Just go along with eyes wide shut.
Blind to face reality.
There is no pain in that which you cannot feel.
No more shall I feel this hurt.
Too often has it been shown to me.
If I feel nothing,nothing can feel me.
Nothing can affect me for I have sealed it all within and
drowned the key.
Mute to the world as I go on living.
Alone in my heart as Always.
And always as ever shall be.
Pain will no longer come for I will not feel.
Just to act upon people's wishes, a robot never to be free.
Kept to myself my thoughts and wishes for I am one no one
wants to see.
TWISTED FLAMES WITHIN
In the light of the fire
Pain and grief fill me
I know now the quest is gone
for he will never be
Love is so entrapping
Hurtful and full of deceit
Just lying here alone
Heard only my single heart beat
The tears they come from heaven
Deeply within my soul
Drinking to be forgotten
Burried in a hole
The flames become wild
They dry my tears away
The pain stays within me
Never gone too far to pay
Embers hard and black
Burning without envy as the ashes fall through the
crack
So alone as I feel unoticed
Like some sort of pest
Promises to not belong
My dreams never allow me rest
Peace may never be
significant in my life
For I have sacrificed my heart
Only to receive the knife
Perhaps one day in the soon
My mind clear and not of a tomb
I'll feel that smile engage
The bars released around my cage
Right now I wait for reckoning
Sorrowful moans and angels sing
I force the happiness to surround
No choice I have for now can be found
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UNSECURITY
I reach inside my heart
deep down into my soul
My feelings and emotions apart
wanting and needing to be whole
The fear of being lost
left drifting in the wind
My heart to be tossed
just as before have sinned
I search for comfort and love
something true, without fear
One that will take me above
One my heart can be near
My emotions, I keep protected
hesitant to be free
Fear of being affected
by the hurt that may be
My own wanting
to be open and complete
It goes unanswered
for the fear, I cannot beat
The past haunts me
thoughts are insecure
Just needing comfort and safety
from someone's feelings that are pure
NICE GUY
Nice Guy eyes
Nice Guy smile
Nice Guy lies
They tantalize
Open the door
Open your soul
Feelings laid upon the floor
Nice Guy makes your heart sore
Tears bleed from the eyes
Head aches of memories
Streaks of unhappiness fall from the skies
Can never trust the Nice Guys
Love fades
Hurt becomes
A thousand blades
No more Nice Guy seranades
I was blind
Now I hurt
I was too kind
A true Nice Guy I will never find
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AFRAID
Fear
It comes from every angle
I try to shut it out
It takes over my senses
Thoughts racing about
What should I do?
How should I feel?
Eyes closed
Memories unveil
The past eats away
Brings tears to my eyes
Haunting, keeping feelings at bay
Everything, I want to deny
Why must it be so hard?
So fast one takes my heart
I try to stay within
Yet I see him as a work of art
I try to not believe
My soul cannot be free
The look and attentiveness of his eyes
It sends shivers throughout my body
Does he really care?
Does he really see me for me?
I cannot help but feel doubt
For I am afraid of the possibility
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YOU NEVER SAID Goodbye
Lost is my soul without you
My longing for you to be near
Your eyes so deep and tender
Yet your voice I still fear
Your apologies and hidden truths
Directed at me, a spear through my heart
The glue that binds my thoughts, distraught
Smiles and dreams destroyed of us to never be apart
The day you made it known
The day my heart began to break
Still unable to pick up the pieces
Shared memories and kisses I cannot forsake
All the times I made you smile, your laughter
Lying next to you hearing your heart beat
The feelings flowed throughout my body
Yet the tears still came for that fear of defeat
You could never see my pain
You just wouldn't understand
My beating soul still there for you
A loving helping hand
Yet hurt you still enslaved me
Was given with no remorse
Your haunting eyes deceived
The feeling, it is far worse
This tear I shed before thee
Unseen within your vision
It falls for you and only you
Plumiting towards its dark collision
Everyday I think of you and your embrace
Knowing of never seeing you again, I cry
For you vanished from my life overnight
I cannot forget, for you never said Goodbye
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